17 December 2008
"The real sky is (knowing) that samsara and nirvana are merely an illusory display.”
—Mipham Rinpoche, Quintessential Instructions of Mind
I have written more than a few times about the emails from the Universe....yes, the Universe sends me an email everyday and sometimes they are so right-on that it makes the hair on my arms stand up. the words below are what I received today and they really struck a chord.
I've been through a lot of emotional turmoil this year -- not as much as other people I'm sure, but more than some people experience. I made a life-changing decision and someone who I thought wanted to be with me, did not. I learned this year that my mother (from whom I was estranged for over 20 years) died three years ago. that knowledge alone brought back painful childhood memories. and of course all the ridiculous drama at the yoga studios. I've also decided to finally disengage myself from someone I've known for more than half my life. it will not be pleasant, but 2009 for me must be clean and fresh. a new beginning. like each new moment.
I no longer believe that I have a depressive personality but for the last month I have come to know what depression feels like again, so much so that I wondered whether I had PTSD symptoms. repressed memories screw with your mind when they rear their ugly heads.
So the note from the Universe hit me in the face like the pungent humid air in Chennai does when I step outside the airport at 3 AM. I read it this morning and sat back and said "yes." but that "yes" was more an affirmation for myself, that yes, I create my own suffering, and yes, there is a way out of suffering, and that way out is not the way I was thinking of when I was at my lowest.
Life is maya.
"I can imagine that from your perspective, it must seem like some truly awful things happen in time and space. So if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to weigh in.
Sama, you live in a world of illusions. A world that springs from a much deeper and far greater reality. And while at times the illusions are indeed ugly, with your physical senses you only see the tip of the iceberg. If you could see the whole, you'd discover that the unpleasantness was only the tiniest piece of a most spectacular puzzle that was created with order, intelligence, and absolute love. You'd see that contrary to appearances, in the grandest scheme of things, nothing is ever lost, no one becomes less, and setbacks are always temporary. And you'd understand that no matter what has happened, everyone lives again, everyone laughs again, and everyone loves again, even more richly than before."