04 December 2007
you heard it here first from this Buddhist: let's all pray for Pat Robertson because he needs to get help for his own brand of evil and narrow-mindedness. Pat needs an intervention. I humbly request the help of Shiva, Ma Kali, Buddha, and Tara and all the boddhisattvas to lead this man from his delusions and into the Light.
uh...do you think that's enough help?
Pat Robertson Not Down With Yoga
According to Robertson, "stretching before exercise" is great, but those evil yogis are going to make you chant mantras to Vishnu and Krishna...and you won't even know you're doing it!
Yeah, that Krishna dude, what the hell was HE smoking?....
"Be fearless and pure; never waver in your determination or your dedication to the spiritual life. Give freely. Be self-controlled, sincere, truthful, loving, and full of the desire to serve...Learn to be detached and to take joy in renunciation. Do not get angry or harm any living creature, but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all. Cultivate vigor, patience, will, purity; avoid malice and pride. Then, you will achieve your destiny." (Krishna, Bhagavad-gita)
Does the thought of Jesus being a self-realized yogi frighten you, Pat? Hmmmmm...Jesus as a bhakti yogi or a karma yogi? ......naaaah....that's too far out to believe...kind of like that notion of a virgin birth, I guess.
Beware...keep doing yoga and before you know it you're worshiping a MONKEY GOD!
and then...before your final descent into hellfire and brimstone for all eternity... when you've become totally brainwashed by an evil mantra-chanting yoga teacher like me...hey, but I'm only 37% EVIL....
...you'll smear your body with ashes, wear your hair in dreads, and start smokin' a few chillems everyday! OM NAMAH SHIVAYA! You're gonna need those chillems where you're going, sucker!
Robertson says that all that other stuff about getting into a higher consciousness, merging your spirit with an ever-present God, and that God is everywhere is pantheism and that's where "YOGA GETS REALLY SPOOKY"!
Yoga is spooky? You know what I think is spooky, Pat? People like you who promote numb groupthink and abhor the Feminine Divine, jai ma! People like you who think we need protection from vile pagans like Buddhists and Muslims. People like you who can only get your message across by pandering to guilt and fear.
hmmmm....pantheism...now what exactly is the definition of pantheism?
(taken from Merriam-Webster):
1. a doctrine that equates God with the forces and laws of the universe.
2. the worship of all gods of different creeds, cults, or peoples indifferently; also, toleration of worship of all gods.
what?!? "toleration"? oh my heavens, toleration is exceedingly evil! we really can't have anything like that because that might mean that we're really not better than anyone else.
God is everywhere? you mean He's not an old white dude with a long white beard somewhere up in the sky behind the clouds? I'm crushed.
Think I'll follow the Dalai Lama's advice and send Pat Robertson lots of metta, lots of loving-kindness. HHDL says that true compassion is having compassion even for your enemies, even for people who hate you.
I am sure Pat Robertson would tell me that I am going to Hell unless I accept Jesus Christ -- just like what the flyers said that were being handed out by the Christians (friends of yours, Pat?) who demonstrated against the Dalai Lama when I saw him this year. According to them, HHDL is going to hell unless he accepts Jesus Christ. I also don't know right from wrong according to them because Buddhists never talk about an all-powerful God. Yup, that's a bee line straight to hell if ever I saw one.
Fortunately, Pat, I'm a lot smarter than you -- because I don't believe that everyone who calls themselves Christian are as close-minded and hateful as you.
That's OK, Pat. Buddha loves ya despite your disgusting ignorance. and you know something? Despite all your holy-rolling, there's no guarantee you have that one-way ticket to Heaven because karma is karma. You believe in karma, right, Pat? You might use different words for it: the Bible says you reap what you sow. You just might come back as a naked Shiva baba.
Maybe I'll see you in a Buddhist Hell Realm. I'll be the one doing yoga.