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04 December 2007

pray for Pat Robertson



you heard it here first from this Buddhist: let's all pray for Pat Robertson because he needs to get help for his own brand of evil and narrow-mindedness. Pat needs an intervention. I humbly request the help of Shiva, Ma Kali, Buddha, and Tara and all the boddhisattvas to lead this man from his delusions and into the Light.

uh...do you think that's enough help?

Pat Robertson Not Down With Yoga

According to Robertson, "stretching before exercise" is great, but those evil yogis are going to make you chant mantras to Vishnu and Krishna...and you won't even know you're doing it!





Yeah, that Krishna dude, what the hell was HE smoking?....





"Be fearless and pure; never waver in your determination or your dedication to the spiritual life. Give freely. Be self-controlled, sincere, truthful, loving, and full of the desire to serve...Learn to be detached and to take joy in renunciation. Do not get angry or harm any living creature, but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all. Cultivate vigor, patience, will, purity; avoid malice and pride. Then, you will achieve your destiny." (Krishna, Bhagavad-gita)



Does the thought of Jesus being a self-realized yogi frighten you, Pat? Hmmmmm...Jesus as a bhakti yogi or a karma yogi? ......naaaah....that's too far out to believe...kind of like that notion of a virgin birth, I guess.

Beware...keep doing yoga and before you know it you're worshiping a MONKEY GOD!


and then...before your final descent into hellfire and brimstone for all eternity... when you've become totally brainwashed by an evil mantra-chanting yoga teacher like me...hey, but I'm only 37% EVIL....

This site is certified 37% EVIL by the Gematriculator

...you'll smear your body with ashes, wear your hair in dreads, and start smokin' a few chillems everyday! OM NAMAH SHIVAYA! You're gonna need those chillems where you're going, sucker!



Robertson says that all that other stuff about getting into a higher consciousness, merging your spirit with an ever-present God, and that God is everywhere is pantheism and that's where "YOGA GETS REALLY SPOOKY"!

Yoga is spooky? You know what I think is spooky, Pat? People like you who promote numb groupthink and abhor the Feminine Divine, jai ma! People like you who think we need protection from vile pagans like Buddhists and Muslims. People like you who can only get your message across by pandering to guilt and fear.

hmmmm....pantheism...now what exactly is the definition of pantheism?
(taken from Merriam-Webster):
1. a doctrine that equates God with the forces and laws of the universe.
2. the worship of all gods of different creeds, cults, or peoples indifferently; also, toleration of worship of all gods.

what?!? "toleration"? oh my heavens, toleration is exceedingly evil! we really can't have anything like that because that might mean that we're really not better than anyone else.

God is everywhere? you mean He's not an old white dude with a long white beard somewhere up in the sky behind the clouds? I'm crushed.

Think I'll follow the Dalai Lama's advice and send Pat Robertson lots of metta, lots of loving-kindness. HHDL says that true compassion is having compassion even for your enemies, even for people who hate you.

I am sure Pat Robertson would tell me that I am going to Hell unless I accept Jesus Christ -- just like what the flyers said that were being handed out by the Christians (friends of yours, Pat?) who demonstrated against the Dalai Lama when I saw him this year. According to them, HHDL is going to hell unless he accepts Jesus Christ. I also don't know right from wrong according to them because Buddhists never talk about an all-powerful God. Yup, that's a bee line straight to hell if ever I saw one.

Fortunately, Pat, I'm a lot smarter than you -- because I don't believe that everyone who calls themselves Christian are as close-minded and hateful as you.

That's OK, Pat. Buddha loves ya despite your disgusting ignorance. and you know something? Despite all your holy-rolling, there's no guarantee you have that one-way ticket to Heaven because karma is karma. You believe in karma, right, Pat? You might use different words for it: the Bible says you reap what you sow. You just might come back as a naked Shiva baba.

Maybe I'll see you in a Buddhist Hell Realm. I'll be the one doing yoga.

11 comments:

dharma punk said...

hahaha..what do you expect from a man that once said...the feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

Gartenfische said...

Was reading some Dalai Lama stuff today and came across this:

"You should respect other religions... the essence of all religions is basically the same: to achieve a true sense of brotherhood, a good heart, respect for others. If we can develop these qualities from within our heart, then I think we can actually achieve true peace."

Someone else pointed out that Pat has actually made progress, that he's not nearly as fanatically anti-yoga/etc as he used to be.

He's moved from hate to middling intolerance. He's got a long way to go to get to love, but there's got to be hope, even for him.

Linda (Sama) said...

unfortunately, gartenfische, I doubt Pat reads HHDL -- he's one of those pagan Buddhists, ya know....

as one commentator said on the Huffington Post:
"Let's All Chant Pat's Holy Mantra...Fear, Hate, Right, Wrong, Us, Them. We love everybody...as long as they're christian, we're compassionate and we love to see everyone else go to Hell. My god can beat up your god."

for some reason I'm thinking about the comedy routine on the Carlos Mencia show about Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed (of course, you could not see him), and Shiva all duking it out in a boxing ring to see who is the True God....

Liberality said...

excellent post! I made a reference it on my blog and I hope you don't mind.

Linda (Sama) said...

thanks! don't mind at all...

thanks for reading and thanks for blogrolling me....

Linda (Sama) said...

email from a sista ---

"...your best blog ever! We should send old Pat an email and let him know that those "stretches" he was doing, before the yoga....those stretches are called asanas and they're actually prayers in the form of body positions. Sorry Pat, too late for you I guess. You 'bin pray'n to gods you don't even know about, just like you said...."

Yogamum said...

This was so brilliant and funny.

I have a really hard time finding any compassion in my heart for Pat and his ilk. I'm trying. But it's hard.

bb said...

He comes across as so ridiculous that it's easy for me to forget there are people who take him seriously.

I've got a very cranky rant up over at my site.

Thanks for the great post.

FranIAm said...

This from a man who blamed 9/11 on gay folks and abortion. And now supports Rudy! There's some real authority for you.

See, what people like him do not understand is that any real truth and light can withstand other truth and other light.

This brings to mind an incident a few weeks ago where Desmond Tutu said the "God was not Christian." Well I agree - as do many other. But he took major heat, as he is used to.

God is beyond the comprehension of most of us - but I would rather stand in awe, do asanas in praise and live in humble gratitude than try to shut off all the lights.

Linda (Sama) said...

well said, fran!

shanti!

Elaine said...

This makes me very upset. I wish we did not live in a world with people like this!