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28 October 2009

just when you think you've had enough....


...someone says something nice.

The longer I teach, the more I read about the corporatization of American yoga, the more I was thinking that I should quit teaching group classes and just concentrate on my own practice (which is very free-form but that's another post), find my own yoga tribe and disappear somewhere...

then someone tells me how I changed their life.

I was going to drive into Chicago this morning to take a class at the studio where I trained. I live 45 miles straight west of Chicago and on a good day it might take me 75 minutes in the morning -- a bad day would be 2 hours. It was 7:30 am and I was leaving for a 10 AM class. So I get into my car, leave the garage, turn on the radio, and heard about how bad traffic was all over Chicagoland this morning. The traffic announcer said that three lanes were down on the expressway I take and it was a parking lot. I pulled back into my garage.

Since I was dressed for yoga I decided to go to another studio to a friend's class, she teaches "Tantra Yoga" in the style of Rod Stryker. I got there and set up and a woman came over and said "Hi, Linda. How are you?" I don't get to this studio on a regular basis so I don't know the students and I was surprised someone knew my name. I said hi, fine thanks, how are you?, and she said, "I remember your class. It changed me."

Now my brain is working overtime...OK....she looks a little familiar....where....how....huh?

I said, "I'm sorry I don't remember you...where did you take my class?" She mentioned the studio where I used to teach, two years ago. She told me that I taught my yin-yang yoga class (actually a workshop) and that I did a chakra meditation afterward.

She said that she had barely done yoga before walking into my workshop. She said that the chakra meditation had "blown" her apart. I can't even remember what I did because I never, ever remember what I do from class to class -- I channel yoga. Seriously. She motioned from her crown to her root and said "everything opened up. I was like, 'wow'." Her eyes glowed from the memory and she gave me a big smile.

I thought, but did not tell her, that I did nothing, she did it all. I merely gave her a road map.

I stood there, stunned. Many of you think I am Ms. Yoga Snark, but I'm here to tell you, I have self-esteem issues as a yoga teacher. Even though I study at one of the most prestigious yoga schools in the world, I still think I am not good enough. I think that I am nowhere near worthy enough to teach globally next year, that I do not deserve the opportunities that are coming my way.

When she finished her story I told her how grateful I was to hear her compliments. She said, "it was because of you and your class that I decided to do teacher training" (which she is currently doing.) I stood there amazed. One class and a woman whom I never saw again. Until today.

Never underestimate the power of yoga. And I will never underestimate myself again.

There was a reason I did not make it into Chicago this morning. I needed to be reminded that I am worthy.



9 comments:

April said...

Love this. :)

I start teacher training next week. My first yoga teacher shattered the weird, new-agey associations I had with yoga and inspired me to go from practicing once a week (at a yoga at work program that I didn't even want to sign up for) to a daily practice. I don't say this to people who aren't yogis because I know how it once would have sounded to me, but it has completely changed my life.

We newbies need you inspiring teachers!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you had this experience. And that you've discovered even one person who you've impacted with your teaching. If there's one, there's bound to be more, right? ;)

I've come to think of yoga teachers as enablers. Personally, I prefer to consider it as 'leading a class' rather than teaching. As you say, the teaching is what someone reveals to themselves...

I led my second yoga class ever last weekend. Towards the end I did a little pranayama, and used a visual analogy that always works for me. I thought nothing of it.

But one of my fellow students (people I was leading the class for) was really stoked about that analogy. It opened something up for her, too. Which is cool!

And maybe that's all we're doing. Passing on what we know, what's helped us. Allowing people the opportunity to see for themselves, with a little help. :)

Linda-Sama said...

thank you....and I wish you all the best for your yoga teacher journey!

Linda-Sama said...

yes, I need to read my testimonials on my website more often...;)

as for passing on what we know, I will never forget what they told us at KYM...that if we don't pass on what we know, we are nothing more than thieves.

Brooks Hall said...

Beautiful story, Linda-Sama! So true. A kind word from someone can completely turn things around. Thanks!

the meditator said...

I have been dipping into your blog for some time now (all the way from Australia) ... your voice is such a fresh and insightful one! I have absolutely no doubt that you have impacted on many people's lives through your musings and your work. But how wonderful that your path led you to the right door on this occassion. I really love the picture you have included above .. can you tell me more about the artists/location?

Linda-Sama said...

thanks for stopping by! I plan on doing a yoga tour of Australia next year, i.e., I'll be doing workshops if you are interested...

no, sorry, I don't remember where that art came from!

Jason said...

I love the site. You have a lot of good posts here. I have a site as well that provides inspiration and guidance to people around the world. I was wondering if we could do a link exchange, so we can tell our visitors about both of our sites. Let me know.

Jason
TheWISDOMWALL.com

Mary said...

That's an pretty awesome story! Great blog hon, real and honest.